The sun is warm yet cozy, the kind of heat that toasts your shoulders just enough to make the first sip of your Aperol spritz taste like magic. The turquoise water stretches endlessly in front of you, shimmering like glass. You’ve got your feet in the sand, your phone on silent, and for the first time in what feels like years, you’re not responsible for anyone but yourself. Laughter bubbles up from the lounger next to you, where one of your home girls is halfway through a story you’ve heard a hundred times and still find hilarious. The breeze smells like salt and sunscreen… and freedom.

It’s easy to forget the drop-off schedules, the meal plans, the never-ending group texts from school and work. Here, you’re not “Mom,” not “Babe,” not anyone’s supervisor. You’re just you, the slightly tipsy, belly-laughing, always dancing woman who used to book trips on a whim and stay out way past midnight. You love your little family, for real! But this right here? Feels like that first bite of your favorite meal after giving birth. A chance to remember the version of yourself who could handle happy hour on a Tuesday, who didn’t need a reason to feel joy, and who had the space to dream bigger than a to-do list.

But let’s be real, this trip almost stayed stuck in the group chat like so many others. In fact, there was a point where you hoped it wouldn’t happen at all. Let’s back up.

It all started, with a voice note: “We need a girls’ trip this year. I’m thinking beach, no kids, cute dresses, strong drinks. Who’s down?” Cue the flood of fire and heart emojis, “Yessss” and exactly one (1) destination suggestion from your friend who hasn’t had a passport stamp since 2012.

At first, the group chat was popping, like, pinging-every-20-seconds alive. There were links to IG influencers and TikToks dropped in like digital confetti. But when it came time to actually make a plan? Crickets. Suddenly everyone was “booked & busy” or “just seeing what dates work” or, your personal favorite: “so down, just let me know what you decide.”

And there it was again. That moment when you could feel your blood pressure rising because of course it was going to fall on you. Again. Just like the dinner reservations, the family reunion, and the baby shower spreadsheet. You’re the responsible one. The logistics whisperer. But you’re also exhausted. You wanted to go on a trip with your hommies, not apply for a second job as travel coordinator.

And for a few days, you considered letting it go. Letting this trip fizzle out like all the other great ideas others put in the group chat but nobody takes the lead on. But something in you— maybe the ghost of the woman who still knows how to have fun—was like, nah. We’re doing this.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that your friends don’t want to make it happen. It’s just that getting grown women on the same page is harder than finding a group photo where everyone likes how they look. You’re all juggling different budgets, school breaks, PTO calendars, and that constant low hum of “What’s for dinner?” in the back of your brain. Add in decision fatigue and the fact that nobody wants to offend or inconvenience anyone and suddenly you end up doing the work just to avoid the awkward silence. Then, you end up resenting them because you did most of the work. Again. But let me be clear: this isn’t a YOU problem. Every group experiences a variation of this dynamic. You’re not too controlling, or the only one who cares. It’s just… a lot. And while deal with the overwhelm of the logistics by avoiding them all together, people like you and I just dive right in, even when it’s not in our best interest to take on that captain role. Nobody ever taught us how to coordinate joy. But we deserve to feel at ease through our travels too.

But here we are, you decided to just do the damn thing. For better or worse, you took the lead not because you had tons of free time, but because you wanted the memories more than you feared the group chat chaos. You told yourself, Okay. I’ll plan it. But I’m not going to lose my mind this time.

 

1. Narrow the choices before you even open the group chat

Don’t ask, “Where does everyone want to go?” That’s a recipe for disaster. Do the upfront thinking and come in with three solid destination options that check the major boxes: budget-friendly(ish), easy to get to, and enough to do. Bonus points if you include a one-liner with each (e.g., “Charleston for charm, Nashville for fun, or Scottsdale for vibes?”). People respond to specifics, not open-ended questions.

2. Limit the dates and the budget

Don’t ask for open-ended input like, “When is everyone free?” Instead, offer two specific weekend options: “I’m thinking April 18–21 or May 2–5. Which one works better for you?”

That’s it. If the vote splits evenly, flip a coin or go with what works best for you. You’re leading, so you get to be the tie-breaker.

Same goes for the budget. Don’t ask, “How much are you hoping to spend?” Offer clear tiers to choose from:

• Less than $800
• $800–$1,200
• Up to $2,500

This gives people a framework to respond to and helps you quickly gauge the vibe. Now you’re not trying to plan a luxury spa weekend and a budget road trip at the same time.

3. Use a shared doc or group note to keep track

You probably already have a planning spreadsheet or Notes app folder (and if not, it takes five minutes to make one). Create a spot for everyone to drop any non-negotiables (like “I refuse to share a bed” or “can’t do more than 3 nights”). Give a deadline and follow up once, max twice. You are not the group secretary.

4. Set the tone early

You can totally lead the charge, but everyone’s expected to handle their own bookings, RSVP on time, and stick to the agreed plans. Use humor if it helps: “This is a drama-free itinerary zone. Miss the deadline? Catch us on the next one.” You’re not running a democracy; you’re offering a plan. Make clear decisions based on what works for the majority, and present them as action steps: “Flights are cheapest this week. I’m booking mine Friday.” Most people want to be told what to do, especially when it’s travel-related. You’re not being bossy. You’re being helpful. Own it.

 

You Can 100% Do This

Planning a group trip on your own doesn’t mean you have to carry everyone’s emotional baggage and roll the suitcase. With a few clear strategies, some well-placed boundaries, and the confidence to lead with love (not people-pleasing), you can absolutely make this happen. Give fewer options, set real deadlines, and move forward without overexplaining. You don’t need to wait for everyone to catch up, you just need the right tools to keep things simple. You’ve got this. And I’ll be right here with more blog posts, checklists, and pep talks when you need them.